Up the Creek Without a Paddle

Up the Creek Without a Paddle

Saturday 29th of March 2014 found in me in a rather unusual situation. Husband and I were in Tesco buying wine. I was going to a friend’s house for a girl’s night in. I don’t do this a lot so I was really looking forward to it. I spent ages picking a nice wine. Then doubt started to creep in. I had been feeling funny for the last 3 weeks. I was constantly tired no matter how much sleep I got, my appetite was disappearing and I was feeling a little sick. I had also missed my period but kept telling myself I’ll get it tomorrow.

So right there in the alcohol section the decision was made, I was taking the wine to the checkout, Husband was getting a test and we would meet back at the car. Not suspicious at all. But I was terrified and mortified. Buying a pregnancy test and a bottle of wine in Tesco was the last thing I wanted to be seen doing.

Back at home, a gallon of water was poured down my throat and we waited. I eventually took myself off to the bathroom and waited some more. 3 minutes is a frickin eternity when the rest of your life and a bottle of wine depends on a tiny piece of plastic. I read every label in the bathroom while I waited. I desperately tried to distract myself. I took a deep breath and looked down. One thought popped into my head. ‘Well that was a waste of 8 quid.’ There it was in black and grey. Pregnant.

Sh**! I had to tell my family. I was going to get fat. My clothes wouldn’t fit. I couldn’t have the wine. I had to look after a baby. I had to pick a name. I had to get loads of stuff, nappies, clothes, a cot. I had to go to the doctor. I had to go downstairs and tell Husband!

What the hell was I going to do now? How was I going to cope? I have a phobia of vomiting, how was I going to manage throwing up everyday? I was terrified, worried and excited all at once. Husband would want to tell everyone now, I wanted to wait until the first 3 months were up. I still had to go down and tell him.

He cried, he shouted, he laughed. He was a ball of sunshine and light. I was a ball of nerves. We were polar opposites with one huge bump in the middle. We didn’t have long to get our thoughts together as I was off to my friend’s house to not drink wine. I sat and tried to dilute one glass of wine with a whole bottle of 7up without being caught! It was harder than I thought it would be! It was the longest night of my life, trying to pretend everything was the same and trying not to blurt it out.

I was at the doctor on Tuesday with Husband in tow, acting like a kid on Christmas. The doctor confirmed that I was in fact pregnant and I was given a long list of things to do. I had to take iron and folic acid. I had to watch my diet, avoid alcohol and cut down on caffeine. Now I live on tea so that was going to be a challenge. I was set up with clinic appointments and free maternity care. After a brief examination, I was declared healthy and sent on my way. Now all I had to do was survive the next 8 months and not tell anyone for the next 2.

Oh and sew my husband’s lips shut!

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