Another achievement, I’ve made it to week four. It has been full of ups and downs but I’ve made it this far.
This week is about ‘Recovering a sense of integrity’. This chapter says that through the morning pages we should be getting a sense of our real feelings. So instead of saying ‘that’s fine’ I am now saying, ‘I’m really annoyed’ or ‘no that’s not okay’. The morning pages may have also shown us what we really want, like or need from life. I realised that while my electric kettle did the job what I really wanted was a whistling kettle for the gas hob. We begin to re-assess our lives and cleaning them out. Out with old clothes, knick knacks, habits, beliefs and electric kettles. From now on its clothes that fit and make me feel good, the belief that yes I am good enough and a shiny new whistling blue kettle!
I am extremely tired this week. Trying to find a new balance between life, the Artist’s Way and a new job is not easy. One morning I was so tired that I fell asleep on the page after writing only a few lines. I’m facing into another period of adjustment. I attempted all 7 days of morning pages but found I was forcing the words onto the page.
Out of my first wages I bought a new adult colouring book, emphasis on adult! So that was my artist’s date this week. The book came with pencils so I took the book and a cup of tea to my spare room leaving behind orders that unless there was a mortal injury or the house was on fire I was not to be disturbed. I sat, sipped and coloured for over an hour. It was great fun and very relaxing. While I coloured my mind was completely focused on the job at hand. It didn’t wander or drift off. I was totally present in the moment. That must be why the book is called ‘Mindful Mandalas’.
I’m now more aware of instances of synchronicity and more open to it. Although the whole idea of the Universe giving me what I ask for is still a little mind boggling. I’d ask for someone tall, dark and handsome to test it but I don’t think Husband would be too impressed! I might be wrong of course, but I doubt it.
While I am still adjusting to my new routine, I think I’m dealing with it very well and I’m still on the mood and energy high. I’m doing my best to balance everything but not being hard on myself when I can’t. This week I’ve noticed a more positive outlook starting to creep into my personality and I’m not entirely comfortable with it. I feel like Wednesday Addams coming out of the creepy happy hut in The Addams Family Values and trying to smile. (For those of you who don’t get that reference for shame!!) I have always been a negative person, I used to say I was optimistically pessimistic. I was negative and I liked it. This new ‘it’ll all work out in the end’ attitude is very off putting! If this is the effect the next few weeks will have on me, I’m not entirely sure I want to carry on. I quite like being miserable.
I’ve made it to week three! Woohoo! I can’t believe I haven’t given up yet! It really must be working or else I’ve gone completely stark raving mad. The latter is highly possible!
This week I am ‘Recovering a sense of Power’. It deals with the emotions that might crop up on our path to creative enlightenment. The nasty ones like shame and anger. It also teaches us about ‘synchronicity’. This simply means that we are provided with what we need. I decided I wanted a fold-up writing table but couldn’t afford one, then I found a laptop tray for a price I could afford. This is synchronicity. Read more →
So I successfully completed week 1….sort of. Okay I forgot the rest of the tasks but I’m not put off and so on Friday I start the second week. This week I will get everything done! I start to read….
Week 2 declares that I am ‘Recovering a sense of identity’. This week is about trusting our own creativity and not doubting it or ourselves. This chapter mentions ‘poisonous playmates’ and ‘crazymakers’. Read more →
Now that I have decided to do the Artist’s Way, I actually have to start! So no time like the present as they say and my week starts on a Friday. The first thing I have to do is read the chapter.
Chapter 1 is called ‘Recovering sense of Safety’. This chapter describes how aspiring artists are pushed into traditional, more stable roles or careers. It also describes the inner artist as a child needing to be nurtured and drawn out. It explains that the excuses we use to deny ourselves something we want are called core negative beliefs. The solution to these are positives affirmations. The trick is to turn a negative thought into a positive one. For example one of my core negative beliefs would be that I’ll never make it as a writer and my positive affirmation is that I am a brilliant and prolific writer. Positive affirmations are statements used to correct core negative beliefs.
I heard a lot about this Artist’s Way business but never really paid it much attention. A few people in my writing group have done it and wax lyrical about it. And after many, many months I decided I would look into it. I searched and searched and couldn’t find the book anywhere. Then one day, the manager of a local charity shop told me they had opened a new bookshop. ‘Come and see’ she said. Books, my one weakness, I went. As I was browsing, the cover of a book on yonder shelf caught my eye.
There it was, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Even though I was the only one there, I dove across the room, fearful it would be magically snatched away and I clutched it to my chest! I took myself off to the till with fierce excitement and explained that I had been looking for this for months! ‘Oh it’s brilliant,’ the manager says, ‘Tell you what, there’s a present for you now.’ I know some of you will criticise me for taking something like that from a charity shop and that’s fine but I will tell you that I donate regularly to the shop.
I literally danced out of the shop! Approximately a month later, chapter three would tell me that this was synchronicity. I devoured the book and decided to try do the full 12 weeks. So now I’m going to tell you little about the book, some of the tools it uses and exactly what I’m in for.. Read more →